I watched a very interesting video yesterday regarding that phrase people use about following what you're passionate about. One thing that stood out to me the most was when the speaker in the video said,
"Something a lot of successful people have in common is they go through various situations that eventually help them discover what they are suppose to be in life, that you don't automatically for example, just wake up and say I'm going to be a writer and write a book that's going to sell millions of copies, and I'm going to be a New York best selling author."
Unfortunately, it just doesn't start that way. We all experience different things in our life that are going to shape us, prepare us, and lead us to what we're actually meant to be. We aren't always going to know what are dream is automatically because it's something that we eventually discover along the way. This is something that I've gone through myself as an artist without even realizing it. A lot of times people think that when they see a successful person they think that person must have it SO together, they just knew from the beginning what it is they wanted to be in life, and that's not always the case. Don't think that you need to have all the answers right this second. Sometimes it takes you doing different things and experiencing all these other ways of making money before you discover what you're actually meant to be.
Growing up, I spent a lot of my free time sketching. I was obsessed with anything that allowed me to express myself and to just be super creative. Any school project that involved art, I always excelled at. It was the ONE thing I knew that I could do right, because I just loved it THAT much. I remember being in elementary school and always hearing that question, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" and without really thinking about it I always just said "I don't know, I might be a doctor or something..." What's crazy to me about this is that I think as kids we always hear "you should be a lawyer, or just be a doctor" not because it's the best job to have in the whole world, but because we're taught to think at such a young age that that's the only way we could be successful and make lots of money, and we start to BELIEVE that b/s that they're feeding us is the truth, and we don't question it. I never knew at that time that being an artist could be an actual career choice, because i was never told that I could be successful doing something that I was already in love with, that I enjoyed doing with every inch of my soul. It was too easy I thought. I always felt like if I told people I wanted to be an artist when I grow up, they would never take me seriously. There would probably be little side remarks thrown here and there about how low my income would be, or that I'm wasting my time because I wouldn't get far in life doing that (which a lot of people still actually believe); So I scratched the idea of a job that involved art out of my head.
As I got older and went to middle school that's where my love for computers actually developed. I would always mess around with editing programs on the computer, nothing as advanced as photoshop though; very basic. I never even thought about how this was eventually going to impact me in the future. Once l was in high school...I still never gave that "what do you want to be" question much thought. Nothing ever seemed to feel right, it was like I was floating through life without a care in the world because I felt eventually I'll just figure it out somehow. I graduated a year earlier, and I remember all of my friends already knowing what college they wanted to go to, and what they all wanted to major in and there I was, still as lost as ever without a clue. It was that exact moment I said screw it, I'm going to art school (still not even knowing WHAT I wanted to major in, but i was just going to see what my options were anyway).
I ended up taking on interior design because that's one thing I knew I was good at, but I ended up switching my major after 6 months of doing that. Even though I did very well in interiors, I still felt like a big part of me was empty. I knew I loved being on the computer but I also loved creating, so that's when it hit me....maybe I should really be doing graphic design instead. At first I was kind of disappointed with myself for just not knowing what I really wanted to be after graduation. Something inside of me though, knew I had to make this career change even though I really felt like I wasted 6 months of my life, for a major I wasn't even sure of. I was so disappointed in myself. As weird as it sounds, not knowing what I wanted to do, and just randomly taking on something else that still had to do with art, actually led me to discover what my passion was. I needed to go through that experience to finally figure out this part of my life that I was so confused about for so many years. I wasn't even a professional in Photoshop, in fact, i barely knew what each of the tools were for...but that didn't matter to me, because my desire to do this was so much stronger than anything else and that was the only thing I needed to motivate me to move forward. I remember sitting myself down in front of my brand new iMac, that I was so in love with, that was given to me after graduation by my parents, and i literally taught myself everything about this program. I would lock myself in my room for hours and actually enjoyed doing this, and from that point I just KNEW this is what I wanted to continue to do.
I started working for a few companies that allowed me to focus on creating graphics for their brand. One thing about me though, I hated waking up early to go to an office for 9 hours a day. It just didn't feel like that was suppose to be my life, and I would never settle for something that doesn't actually make me happy. Once again, another experience that opened a new chapter in my life I wasn't even expecting. 11 years ago, you couldn't tell me I would eventually "own my own business" and be "working for myself", because I wouldn't have believed you. At the time that just wasn't my goal and I hadn't yet gone through everything I went through to get to this mindset where I'm at now. I wouldn't have been able to take on such a big responsibility like this at that time, because I don't believe I was ready to receive that blessing yet.
I feel like God puts us through all these stages in our life in order to prepare us. The first step though is you have to just decide that you want to do something that actually fulfills you, and that although you don't know what the outcome is going to be, you have to tell yourself "I'm going to try this because doing this honestly makes me feel good". It doesn't even have to be one thing. Try doing a variety of stuff that you genuinely enjoy and eventually you will figure out what your true calling is. The thing about not knowing what you want to do is that eventually, you’ll find out where you’re supposed to be. You just have to take it one step at a time and you can't be hard on yourself for not having all the answers right away. A lot of times, i think we get frustrated, because things happen to us along the way, that sometimes feel like it's a lot for us to handle, and we don't stop to even think maybe this is something that I need to experience in order to move to the next stage of my life. You just have to trust that process and know that every failure, every confusion, every single thing you experience is not their to set you back but to mold you into the person that you really are destined to be. ♡